Dear Fruits Basket
by Adamida
Summary: This is an advice coloum that I'm trying to start up. PLEASE REVIEW YOUR QUESTIONS!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Ya'll!!! It's me again. I don't know if this will work or not so I'm going to give it a try. I would like to start a Fruits Basket advice coloume. This is were you can ask eather Yuki or Tohru or Kyo a question and I give my advice. Like I said I don't know if it will work so yea. Review your questions to me. PLEASE!!!! Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

This is for Yuki (and Kyo... sort of)

I have a MAJOR anger problem. I'm worse than Kagura. How do you keep your temper

under control?

plus... if you hate your fanclubs so much why not...

a.)tell them to get lost,

or b.) pretend to be gay?

Yuki

Well let's think about this. You say that you have a major anger problem but have you ever thought about why you have this major anger problem? Maybe if you were to find that out you might be able to control your temper. And plus you should try thinking about it. Or just count to 100 and breathe deeply.

Now for the fan clubs… I don't think gay would be the answer because they might like it even more and I don't want that to happen… and tell then to get lost? I don't think that's such a good idea.

Kyo

Hell it's a good idea!! That's what I would do!

Yuki

My point exactly

Kyo

HEY!!!

* * *

ok, hear's a question for kyo:

will my cat forget who I am when I move out of my perants house?

and yuki:

I concur with the last question, why not just pretend you're gay? You're girly

enough.

Tohru:

do you even know what 'sex' is?

**Kyo**

**Hell how am I supposed to know. I don't live with you. **

**Yuki**

**Ummmmmmm what is with the gay thing? Everyone asks me that. Though if Haru doesn't stop soon I think people will think that I'm gay and I won't have to say a thing. **

**Tohru**

**Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm (blushes)**


	3. Chapter 3

Who's your next vict-I mean...character. Who's answering the questions next?

**Well who do you want to answer that question, Because that will be my next character. **

**

* * *

**

Question for Tohru: how do you saty so happy all the time? Everyone likes you

and you're so sweet, I want to be like you! Please help me with how to act **Tohru ** **Oh wellll… Um I just think about how I would want others to treat me. And I end up all happy and stuff. Plus I like making other people happy. ** Question for Yuki and Kyo: why do you hate eachother so much? If you took the time to get to know eachother, you might actually like eachother. No one deserves to be hated (at least in Fruits Basket). Can you please tell me ONE good thing about the other? And that way, I'll be able to tolerate the people I don't like. By remembering you 2! 

**Yuki **

**Well what good is there in a stupid cat? **

**Kyo **

**Yea… HEY YOU STUPID RAT!! **

**Yuki **

**Oh my my losing your temper again **

**Kyo **

**HEY! **

**Me **

**Enough! I want you two to think really hard about something nice about each other! NOW! **

**Yuki **

**Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm He looks like a guy??? **

**Kyo **

**Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm He gets all the girls?? **

**Me **

**There we go… **


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Hatori,

You are a doctor, smart, and mature yet you hang out with Shigure and Ayame.

They annoy you yet you still have been friends forever why?

Dear Hiro, if you had liked Kisa so much why didn't you beat up the stupid girls

making fun of her?

**Hatori**

**Answer that and you've answered everything I've almost ever wondered. I may be a doctor but when if comes to Shigure and Ayame I'm clueless. Aren't all people?**

**Hiro**

**Ya know I have thought about that but Kisa wouldn't like that and it would make her unhappy and I would hate that so that is why I don't beat anyone up.**

* * *

Question for yuki and kyo: i was reading a fiction story about you two

fighting(literally) over tohru...and in the story yuki almost won but kyo, you landed a suprise punch in yuki's face and he got nocked out...then you fainted...i was wondering if either of you thought that something like that would actually happen?

**Yuki**

**That stupid cat couldn't hit the broad side of a barn**

**Kyo**

**HELL!!! I think it could happen!! Just not the fainting part.**


	5. Chapter 5

question for Yuki and Kyo: Kyo, if you want to win again Yuki that badly, why not have a cooking contest?

**Kyo**

**Because we value our kitchen and we don't want Tohru to have to clean it up.**

**Yuki**

… **What is that supposed to mean**

**

* * *

question for Hatori: Now that you know AMyu, will you be able to love her like**

you did kana?

sister question to Mayu (can i aske her a question?): if you and Hatoru got

married, you'd be RELATED to Shigure. Did you realize that?

Motoko: what is wrong with you? Why can't you just get another godamn guy!

**(I am soooo sorry but I can't answer that question simply because I've only read the books up to chapter 26. I have however seen all the episodes. SORRY!!!!!)**

* * *

Dear Yuki,

You're a guy right? Well I have a question about what you guys think. I like this guy who reminds me a lot of you. He is rather princely and very smart and

all around P.E.R.F.E.C.T. Well...I moved away and left him...and he always sends me these love poems...Someday we'll be together someday life will be so much better someday no more dark clouds above someday enlightened in the light of love someday the story will end one way we'll be together someday! He sent me 2 of those but sometimes he's a little mean. In public he calls me a "chick magnet" and that really offended me. Well..that was only once...he used to poke me a lot but he tells me I'm not stupid, I'm a great person etc etc. So tell

me...if you were the guy in that situation...what is in your mind?

-mana

**(I'm a girl but I will try and answer)**

**Dear Mana**

**Well mabey he pokes you because he likes you and he's too afraid to say so in front of people. Most guys are like that. We have a rep to uphold so yea. It's too bad we don't come with a manual.**

**Yuki**


	6. Chapter 6

I have a question for Kyo, why don't you wait until yuki is in his rat form, and

you're in you're cat form to beat yuki. The cat always has the advantage over

the rat

**That is a very good question. I may hate the rat but I don't want to take the easy way out. I want to beat the dame rat fare and square.**

Dear Tohru,

I haved a question do yuo know anything bout horses?if so then tell me what it

is that you would do in a situation where your horse threw you of his back. it

happened to me and i just wanna know:) Tell momiji i said HI!

**Momiji says hi back and I don't know a thing about horses. Sorry. Maybe the horse was just having a bad day. **

Yuki: Since you're always so ANGSTY and depressed...have ya ever considered PROZAC?!

Kyo: How come you never seem to get INJURED? I mean, you're always fighting Yuki, or getting smacked my Arisa, or sparring Kazuma...you'd think you'd be in a full body cast by now!

And now, the most important question of them all:

Tohru: What's your favorite color?

**Yuki**

**………**

**Kyo**

**Well I'm not that weak. I can take a hit ya know.**

**Tohru**

**PINK!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

question for Yuki: why don't you just ask Tohru out? That would save you a lot of trouble over rejecting girls all the time

question for Kisa: do you love Hiro? or is he just a friend?

question for Kagura: why do you bother Kyo so much? Love sometimes is letting the person you love go. And accepting that they won't love you that way.

**Yuki**

**I guess I'm afraid that she doesn't feel the same way about me and that if I get to close to her that I or Akito will hurt her.**

**Kisa**

… **That is a very hard question to answer… I think I do love him but I wish that he would treat sissy better.**

**Kagura**

**There is no way anyone could love him as much as I do!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!! (beats up) Ohhh I'm soooo sorry… I guess that's why he doesn't love me**

Hey Yuki, don't you ever get upset when people say you look like a girl?

And to both Yuki and Kyo... what are your feelings on the MANY MANY fanfics of you two being gay and um... KISSING each other? (among other things) I think it's hot, and so do alot of girls at my school, but what are your thoughts about it. Plus Tohru, why are you so happy all the time?! It's not normal! Are you on anti-depressents or something? I mean if I lived in a house with two very hot guys and I couldn't hug them I'd be sad. Yes, I think Yuki and Kyo are hot but Haru's HOTTER! So... yeah... bye-bye! love, Evil Reincarnated in Kansas

**Yuki**

**I do get upset but I choose not to do anything about it. Unless that stupid cat says it.**

**Yuki and Kyo**

**shivere**

**yuki **

**I would like to take that off the web but that is not my decision just my opinion**

**Kyo**

**Hell I'd go for it. I mean I don't want to be pared of with that dame rat! GROSSS!**

**Yuki**

**And you think I'm ok with it?**

**Tohru**

**Well… What are anti depressants? And I'm just happy I have a place to call home.**

Dear Yuki & Kyo,

Why don't you two get together?! You're both freakin' sexy and you'd make the

perfect couple!! And together you could stand up to Akito! Oh, and there's at

least(counting)...23 pages of you two together on FanFiction! SO GET TOGETHER!

Your Truly,

Widow Mondred

P.S. Yuki should be uke. Trust me(wink).

**Kyo**

**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I demand that those pages be taken down!!!!**

**Yuki**

**I can't beleaive I'm going to say this but he's right.**

**Kyo**

**No wonder you're widowed**

**Yuki**

**Now that was uncalled for and just out of curiosity what does "uke mean?**


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Hatori

In the "Unlikely" event that Kana would show up on your doorstep, and stab you in the gut while screaming "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR MESSING WITH MY HEAD YOU BASTURD!". What would you do in that situation?

P.S. YOU SUCK!

Dear Hatsuharu

Have you heard any jokes about your black persona being a stereotypical parody of an African American? I just thought suck a spoof would be moderatly funny.

Dear Tohru

Personally I don't think you should be romanticly involved with Yuki, or Kyo. Have you ever considered a romantic relationship with Saki. I just think you two could be perfect for each other.

Dear Yuki

In the event that Tohro chooses to be with Kyo. Might I suggest that you try to pursue a relationship with Saki. I think next to Tohru, you are the most compatable with Saki.

Dear Saki

In the event that things don't work out in persuing a romantic relationship with Tohru, or Yuki. Would you be willing to go out with me?

Sincerly

On Soaring Wings

**Ok as the author I'm going to answer these because it I let anyone else the results may vary and it would be just bad.**

**For Hatori**

**I think he would be dead in that sich**

**For Hatsuaru**

… **I will leave that one alone**

**For Tohru**

**I think that would be just weird no offence.**

**For Yuki**

**Now that is a good paring I agree hole heartedly on that sich**

**For Saki**

**I think she would want to meet you first.**

Question to...all the Fruits Basket hotties:

I have this one kung fu teacher and he's a total dip. He's this old man guy and...he acts like Shigure+Ayame x 10! Its so bad cause my parents say i have to be nice to him and everything but he like hits on me and my friend! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Muahahaha should i just kick him in the balls really really hard?

**All Fruits Basket Hotties:**

**Yuki: Shakes head Just wait till I get a hold of Ayame.**

**Kyo: SHIGURE!!!!!!!!!**

**White Haru: Now that that's taken care of let me answer the question. I think that you should just ignore him. If he tries anything like grope you then you should tell your parents or the authorities. **

**Black Haru: OR JUST BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM!!!!!!**

**Momiji: I think the first idea was best .**

Question to Kyo: ...Can i have your autograph?!?!?!?!? Um no, thats not my real

question...if you had no other choice, who would you ahem do IT to? Haru, Yuki nor Hatori? by the way, death is NOT an option...

Kyo: … looks to author DO I HAVE TO ANSWER THAT?

Me: I'm afraid so. All questions must be answered in some way and according to what they want.

Kyo: sigh You owe me… I absolutely hate Yuki and Hatori is… shivers so I guess that leaves Haru… Ya happy?

Me: tries to hide a smile and just nodes


End file.
